2017 in Review

 2017 in Review. 

2017 has been an interesting, bizarre and at some points disturbing year in cinema, both on and off screen-with Hollywood in the throes of an understandable reappraisal of the relationship between stars and crew, producers and actresses, and between minorities and indeed, on a deeper level, the (perceived) over saturation of Hollywood with male, white, heterosexual talent. Away from the alleged actions of Weinstein, Spacey, and any number of the veritable platoon of abusers or rumoured abusers, the very nature of the Hollywood machine has been thrown off-course, with even that most venerable, if increasingly self-congratulatory, event of the cinematic calendar, The Oscars, potentially affected by the continued fallout of this and other factors.

These range from the increasingly erratic motions of popularist star incarnate, Donald J Trump, and his riling against the enemies he sees in Hollywood's left wing "elite", to a viewing public increasingly moving to streaming services, to Disney's vice-like grip on ever-increasing sections of mine, and indeed likely your, childhood.Nevertheless, to round this year off, and indeed to celebrate the first anniversary of this blog, this is both my little awards ceremony, my selection of gongs and raspberries, to hand out to the best and worst films of the year. Without further ado...let's start with the worst actors and films I saw in 2017.

Worst Film:

• Geostorm: enjoyably crap, clunky, headache inducing film that wanted to be both a taut political thriller and a bonkers disaster film, and managed to do neither, badly.
• The Dark Tower: We waited nearly forty years for this, and it disappointed. Badly. What should have been the start of an "Epic Western" media franchise died with its boots off.
•  The Mummy: Tried to kick start another media franchise, disappointed on every level. Cruise is past it, Crowe chewed scenery. Sofia Boutella tried her best, but couldn't stop this adventure unravelling 
• Ghost in the Shell: lazy shot-for-shot whitewashed live-action remake of much-loved anime franchise was all looks, no brains. Neither appealed to fans of original nor average cinema-goer.
• Baywatch: misjudged reboot of cheesy dated series that no-one really wanted. Neither Efron nor Johnson's charms and decent chemistry could save it from sinking at the box office.
• Transformers: The Last Knight: Please stop Michael Bay before he makes another of these. Nearly three hours of empty, clunking action, and empty clunking plot. Even the fans are starting to bore of this, finally

And the award goes to:  Transformers: The Last Knight. Mr Bay, your complimentary copy of Transformers: The Movie is in the mail. Maybe you'll actually get the idea of what this franchise is meant to be like?

Worst Actor/Actress

• Russell Crowe (Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde: The Mummy): a scenery chewingly bad performance where Crowe flounders around whilst trying to set up the entire (now likely canned) Dark Universe, whilst yelling some of the worst lines of this year.
• The Entire Cast: (Geostorm): Totally out of their respective comfort zones, acting against ropey special effects. From Ed Harris's heel-turning, enjoyably barking mad Vice President to Gerrard Butler's techy in space, a collection of some of the most laughably bad performances I've ever seen.
• Scarlett Johansson (Major Kusanagi: Ghost in the Shell): Even ignoring the concerning whitewashing of an overtly Japanese character, Johansson's portrayal is wooden, pouty, and feels more like a lost teenager than an action heroine.
• Dwayne Johnson and Zak Efron (Mitch Buchannon & Matt Brody, Baywatch): In a better film, this duo would have carried the movie, but mired down in fratboy humour and tired banter, they only drag it under.
• Johnny Depp (Jack Sparrow: Pirates of the Carribean: Salazar's Revenge): A tired, unfunny performance where Depp is notably physically and verbally flagging, only made worse by terrible CGI de-aging.
• Michael Fassbender (Calum Lynch/Aguilar de Nerha, Assassin's Creed): A boring, growling mess of a performance that highlights only the fact that Fassbender needs to fire his agent for this and Alien: Covenant-Aguilar de Nerha is better, but fatally underutilised. 
• Michael Fassbender (Again.) (David, Alien Covenant): Hey, who said two dual performances by Fassbender were better than one? Whilst Walter is a kindly and empathetic character, David is nothing short of a cackling pantomime villain, merrily going about the perfection of the iconic xenomorph like an excited B-movie scientist and is the camel that finally breaks the weakened back of the once great Alien franchise.

And the award goes to...the entire cast of Geostorm. Guys, your collective Alan Smithee credits for this mess of a film are in the post to you! Better luck next movie

Next up: Disappointment of the Year. In short, that film that set high expectations,but failed to meet them. The nominees are:

• Alien Covenant: A film that never lives up to its predecessors, whilst demystifying one of cinema's great monsters in the process-an uneven, overly pretentious retread of much better films.
• Beauty and the Beast: Fell far short of the animated original, and despite an excellent starring role for Emma Watson, and an excellent ensemble cast, seemed to only highlight the folly of Disney's live-action remake cycle.
• Justice League: Aping the MCU, this film promised us a brace of heroes, humour, and action-aplent, but continues to concentrate on Batman and Superman's tiff, whilst Wonder Woman and co, plus a boring villain, wait for them to make peace. 
• Kingsman: The Golden Circle: A silly, often muddled mess of a film, that drops half the plotlines from the original, has one of the most jawdroppingly odd cameos in modern cinema, and seems unsure on its stance on its aesops, despite fun visuals and wicked sense of humour.
• The Great Wall: What the creator of films as visually stunning, and compelling as House of Flying Daggers and Hero is doing directing a film this boring escapes me, but Matt Damon, and an eye on the Western market (for the most expensive Chinese film ever made) has something to do with it
• Murder on The Orient Express: A lavish, but sadly hollow film, with none of the charm of smaller adaptions of Christie's work, full of silly accents and sillier moustaches.

And the award goes to... Justice League.

Finally, to round up the worst of 2017, we'd like to award Michael Bay with a "Please Stop Making Films" award for his work on every single Transformers film, as well as the two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle films, and Pain and Gain. Michael, we can only say one word. Stop. Thanks,
We'd also like to award both Idris Elba and Michael Fassbender a joint "I Really Should Fire My Agent" award for The Dark Tower and Alien: Covenant and Assassin's Creed, respectively.

Moving swiftly on...

DVD of the Year: We Are X: A jawdropping, no-holds-barred documentary about the life and times of Japanese hard rock band, X-Japan, and their story through 30 years of music, death, and return.

Best Animated Film: Pokemon: I Choose You

Best Film I Never Got Round to Watching: Get Out & Moonlight (Tie)

Best Action Movie: Logan/Atomic Blonde (tie)

Best Comedy: The Disaster Artist

Best Drama: Silence.

Soundtrack of the Year: Baby Driver/Jackie (tie)

Best Actor/Actress:

•  Gal Gadot (Diana Prince/Wonder-Woman, Wonder Woman)-one of the single best things about the mixed Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, and finally allowed to spread her wings and explore her backstory in her own film, where her sense of right and wrong drive the entire narrative
• Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley (Kylo Ren and Rey, Star Wars: The Last Jedi)-their chemistry, and rivalry drive the narrative, and their temporary teamup midway through The Last Jedi is not only a scene that rocks the entire Star Wars mythos on its axis, but the best single action scene of the year
• Natalie Portman (Jackie Kennedy, Jackie). A pitch perfect recreation of the First Lady, and a perfect muse for Pablo Larraín-every scene seems to search for some hidden meaning, some vulnerability in Kennedy, and occasionally, we are afforded a glimpse at the woman behind the icon. 
• Hugh Jackman: (Wolverine, Logan): Jackman brings his decade and a half portrayal of one of the most famous of all Marvel superheroes to a satisfying conclusion, in a nigh-perfect send-off.
• Andy Serkis (Caesar, War for the Planet of the Apes): Now an elder statesman of special effects, Serkis puts his all into Caesar, now a warrior-king among apes turned vengeful hero in a stunning performance that pushes motion capture to its very limits. 
• Ryan Gosling/Ana de Armas: (K/ Joi, Blade Runner 2049): At the centre of Blade Runner 2049's visual spectacle is heart and emotion and the focus of both is the replicant, K, who searches for meaning, and in Joi, whose entire reason to be is to give K that meaning. Yet, the true strength of both actors is in subverting the very nature of what it means to have meaning, to stunning effect.
•  Taraji P. Henson (Katherine Johnson), Octavia Spencer (Dorothy Vaughan) and Janelle Monáe (Mary Jackson, Hidden Figures): This extremely likable trio of superb actresses brought three crucial (and until this film, largely forgotten) figures to the NASA Space Program to life, with a great deal of pathos, humour, and intelligence. 
• Dave and James Franco (Greg Sestero & Tommy Wiseau, The Disaster Artist). Both Franco brothers bring their respective stars of the so-bad-it's-good film, The Room to life in almost uncanny detail, with James Franco's Wiseau a beautifully bathetic tortured artist with a strange, if awkwardly adorable sense of quasi-Ed Wood wonder, whilst Dave's young actor, Greg, tries to aim for stardom, but finds himself in something altogether odder, if equally (in)famous.

The Award for Best Actor of 2017 goes to...

Andy Serkis.


Best Children's Film Goes to: Paddington 2  

Best Superhero Film goes to: Thor Ragnarok

Film You Probably Didn't See But Should have Award goes to Colossal.

Best Villain Goes To: Adam Driver: (Kylo Ren, Star Wars: The Last Jedi)


Best Picture of 2017:

• Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi: A stellar sign-off for the late great Carrie Fisher, and a brave new adventure, finally moving beyond the comfort zone of the original trilogy into bold, and exciting new places-one of the most beautiful blockbusters ever made.
• Blade Runner 2049: A perfect sequel to one of science fiction's greatest cinematic works-answering some questions the original poses, whilst posing some of its own-a visually exquisite, thought provoking film
• The Death of Stalin: A brutally funny, pitch-perfect farcical retelling of the aftermath of the death of Josef Stalin, and the power struggle between the various factions to succeed him. One of the funniest films of 2017, hands down.
• War for the Planet of the Apes: A perfect ending to Caesar's rise to power-an intelligent mix of war film, science-fiction film, and portrait of a leader under pressure, proving that Andy Serkis has created a whole new medium of acting with motion capture.
• Baby Driver: A slick, stylish film, with one hell of a soundtrack, one hell of a driver, and with a sense of ever-quotable fun lacking from a great number of blockbusters nowadays. 
• Colossal: A mix of slacker and monster movie may not seem the most natural of bedfellows, but in twinning the battles of a young woman with her alcoholism, and a duo of monsters, Nacho Vigalondo's film is a quite remarkable, and unusual film.
• Hidden Figures: A truly inspirational true story about the role of Afro-American women, their struggles against racism and sexism in the nascent world of computing, and their integral role in the Space Race, 
• Jackie: A visceral biopic focusing on Jackie Kennedy's relationship with JFK in the days before and after his assassination, exploring the very concept of memory, and with one of the best soundtracks of 2017. 
• The Disaster Artist: A darkly comic retelling of the legendarily bad film, The Room, which manages to stay affectionate to the cast and crew, whilst meditating upon the very nature of film-making and fame in American cinema. What a story, huh?

The Award for Best Film of 2017 goes to...

Blade Runner 2049. 

I'd like to thank you, the reader, for following this blog, whether you've been reading every review since we started exactly a year ago, or whether you've only just found us-here's to a brand new year of new films, new experiences, and new favourites! Happy New Year!