Pirates of the Carribean: Salazar's Revenge (2h, 33 m, Dir Joachim Rønning & Espen Sandberg)

Y'aaargh, maties! There be another installmen' of the Pirates of the Carribean on the horizon! Avast, maties! But be it full of riches, or naught but a waste of ye doubloons? *Cough* Sorry, couldn't resist. Pirates of the Carribean: Salazar's Revenge (or, for those in the USA and elsewhere in the world, Dead Men Tell no Tales) is the newest installment in Disney's swashbucking sea-based pirate franchise. Continuing the adventures of Johnny Depp's hapless (Captain) Jack Sparrow, as he does battle with the dastardly, vengeance-set ghostly Captain Salazar and his crew, it's a tauter, more polished affair than either the bloated, labyrinthine plot of At World's End or the wobbly, bizarrely dark On Stranger Tides, with new blood, in the form of Henry, the son of William Turner and Elizabeth Swann (and somehow less wooden than both of them) and star seeking and intelligent Enlightenment-woman Carina Smyth giving the film some much needed direction, but, elsewhere, the film creaks with both age and wear, going through the motions and rehashing the ideas of the previous instalments. Like Salazar himself, you begin to wonder if Depp should be released from the growing curse of playing Sparrow.

Whilst Sparrow is among Depp's best roles, a wisecracking man of the world, tied to no-one, sailing the seas to seek his fortunes, in this and Stranger Tides, it increasingly feels like Depp is doing the character out of duty, (or perhaps greed); gone, but for a few sequences, which by no surprise are the best in the film, is the spontaneity of Sparrow, the unpredictability that made him the poster boy of piracy's return as the epitome of cinematic cool, a character who in both Black Pearl and Dead Man's Chest was at once heroic and anti-heroic, capable of turning on Turner and Swann to fill his own pockets.
Jack, in short, is increasingly a sparrow with corporately clipped wings, the edges smoothed off-certainly, he still drinks, slurs his words, and plays Sparrow as a mix of Keith Richards' lifestyle and dress and David Bowie circa 1973, but the mannerisms, chaotic mind and often iconic lines are all but spent, and Depp's age is starting to show, with the character's physical comedy greatly reduced. Depp almost underacts in places; when the final act begins, however, Depp seems to find his feet at last, and for the last forty-five minutes of the film, he finally starts feeling like the legendary "worst pirate" of the seven seas. By then, sadly, it's too little, too late, as the film is all but sunk around him, and for all his hand-flailing, crazed expressions, and quotable lines, he alone cannot bail the hulking ship out.

The other major issue around Jack is, in a key sequence that ties him and the diabolical Spanish pirate hunter, Captain Salazar together, a younger version of the character defeating Salazar and his crew and consigning them to their ghostly fate. As with many characters, to de-mythologise Sparrow, to show his backstory, to demystify this iconic figure of modern years is a mis-step, and the CGI used to de-age Depp is patchy at best, but its impact, to do for Sparrow what Last Crusade does for the younger Indiana Jones, is to make the character somehow less interesting-the cringe-inducing cameo by Paul McCartney as "Uncle Jack", (presumably some relative of Keith Richard's Captain Teague), to give Sparrow a veritable extended family doesn't help.

Elsewhere, the duo of Henry and Carina, the intended focus of the film, are in many places a retread of Will and Elizabeth-certainly, Carina (played ably by Kaya Scodelario), at least brings the Pirates universe into the Age of Reason, with her deep interest in science, astronomy and clearly a more learned character than almost every other major character in this film, and the film allows her to be a resourceful and surprisingly tough figure. Henry(played by Brenton Thwaites), however, is almost a carbon copy, or dare I say it, ticklist of his cursed father, a swashbuckling young man who seeks to undo his father's curse (check), is forced to work with Depp to fulfil his goal (check), grows from a wide-eyed young man to a tough, clever adult, (check) finds love above his station, (check), and even a close-quarters encounter with the supernatural (check). As a result, Henry feels like a a" greatest hits" version of his father, albeit played by a better actor.

Elsewhere, however, Bardiem and Rush hold up their end of the film ably-Bardiem as Salazar is a cackling, dangerous, ruthless and spectacularly realised phantom, with the cracked, doll-like appearance and missing flesh and bone making him the franchise's most memorable villain since Barbossa himself, and more than a match, both as a captain and a fighter for either Barbossa or Sparrow, and utterly driven by revenge against Sparrow-whilst the flashbacks fatally undermine Sparrow, they only strengthen Salazar, showing just how far the former pirate hunter has fallen.
Barbossa, meanwhile, inhabits the moral ambiguity that Depp himself should occupy, at once saving his own crew and hide by promising to bring Salazar Sparrow, but then seeking the film's MacGuffin, the Trident of Poseidon himself, to defeat Salazar and rule the seas once more-Rush indeed, in places, feels more like the film's centre than Depp's muted appearance, and, unlike Depp, genuinely appears to be relishing every overwrought line he can get his teeth into-the film does give him a warmer side with an unexpected (and slightly shoehorned) connection to another character, but unlike Depp, this comes off as surprisingly genuine.

You'll notice, dear reader, that we've not mentioned the plot so far-and that's honestly the problem with the film-it doesn't really have much of one. Think of a mix of the first three pirates films, swap "skeletons cursed for taking treasure, oh and a crew cursed because their Captain fell in love with the sea (or something)" for "SPANISH GHOST PIRATES", swap Turner and Swann for, er, Turner and Smyth, reduce the British Empire to merely appearing when the plot calls for it, and you pretty much have Salazar's Revenge. The plot goes something like this, cobbled together from the first three films:

A younger version of a major protagonist (Black Pearl), is involved in supernatural gubbins with parent hanging around. Several years later, they encounter more supernatural gubbins, a major villain appears, and vows revenge on Jack Sparrow (Dead Man's Chest), hero sets out, finds Jack Sparrow, major macguffin is introduced (all three films), Jack and co set out to find MacGuffin before villain does, taking young man and blatant love interest along. Villain destroys things, threatens supporting character to find/kill Jack. (Dead Man's Chest, World's End), Jack's compass still important, a clue is found as to where MacGuffin is, (all three films), villain backstory explained (Black Pearl, Dead Man's Chest).
The trio of Jack, Protagonist and Love Interest end up on land, villain's henchmen cannot go on land, (Dead Man's Chest, World's End). Further MacGuffin clue, romantic banter, (all three films) final battle, with hole in sea (World's End) swordfight (Black Pearl) and heroic sacrifice (Dead Man's Chest). Protagonist and Love Interest end up together, Jack sails off to do something else (Black Pearl, World's End).

Salazar's Revenge is by no means a bad film, but it's not a particularly good one-the setpieces are accomplished but the film that links them feels like a tired retread of the first three films, reconstructed on the front of Terry Rossio's fridge on magnets, and shuffled around a bit. It also highlights a strange trend in Hollywood of the Remakequel-a film that acts both as sequel, but which is  also deliberately similar in tone and narrative, thus acting as a remake-some are returns to form for a series, such as The Force Awakens, a recapturing of what made the series great, whilst some either look, or are painfully obvious re-treads, such as Alien Covenant, or the upcoming Transformers: The Last Knight.

Salazar's Revenge, sadly, tips towards the latter-like its star, it's tired, slowly running out of energy, and increasingly feels like it needs a rest. Maybe, in short, unless you're a die-hard buccaneer for all things Pirates, it's time to scuttle this series, abandon ship and head for shore.

Rating: Avoid